What is the world coming to?  Is the recession taking that big a toll on the gum industry that they can’t send a coupon for a free pack of gum to a customer that was truly disgusted by one of their products?  I took the time to write and sent back the entire package of gum (minus two pieces for A-Yo and I), and the best they can do is a letter from a customer service representative?  Seriously.  They are the number one gum-seller in the world with annual revenue of $5.4 billion and 2007 profits of $2.3 billion and they can’t give me a free pack of gum in a flavor that I can stomach?

To be fair, I did not ask for a free coupon – partly because I did not want to seem like I was only writing to get something for free rather than truly complaining, and also I was curious to how they would rectify the situation without my asking for specific recourse.  Well, I guess we know the answer to that now.  NUTS TO YOU WM. WRIGLEY JR. COMPANY, SUBSIDIARY OF CANDY CONGLOMERATE MARS, INC!!!

Their letter is below the jump:

Dear Yulzopolis,

Thank you for letting us know how you feel about Orbit® Positively Pomegranate gum.  We’re happy to hear from you and we truly value your feedback.  Input from customers like you helps us to constantly make improvements and ensure that we are always providing you with top-quality products.

We introduced Orbit® Positively Pomegranate gum to provide customers with a fresh, new flavor for the brand they love.  We’re very sorry that you didn’t like this flavor, but we greatly appreciate you taking the time to try it and sharing your thoughts with us.

We’ll be sharing your feedback with our researchers, who are constantly working on new flavors to add to our product lineup.  We hope you’ll keep an eye out for our new products, try them when they come out and let us know what you think.  Thank you again for reaching out to us and we hope you’ll continue to enjoy Wrigley products in the future.

Sincerely,

Sarah W.

Customer Affairs Representative

I was certain that I would never finished the pack (for which I spent $1.30), so I knew the only logical thing was to write a letter to Wrigley to complain and return my unwanted nasty-berry gum.  A-Yo and I had a laugh riot writing the letter, and even though we tried for a humorous tone, the gist of the complaint was real.  So their customer service people better send me some coupons for free gum….otherwise I’m out $1.30 for the gum and $0.42 for the stamp.  Our masterwork below the jump.

Dear Sir or Madam:

I am writing in regards to your “Positively Pomegranate” flavor of Orbit gum. Unfortunately, my experience was not very positive. Today I purchased a pack of the pomegranate gum, and tried a piece. Needless-to-say, I was not pleased with the strange, berrylike taste. When I came home, my wife asked what smelled like some sort of chemical emanating from my coat pocket. I showed her my recent purchase and she was shocked and appalled. She tried a piece, and immediately spit it out.

I usually don’t complain about products, and I have always been pleased with Orbit gum, even the fruit flavors. However, I would like to return the offending package of gum, which is enclosed within.

What is most amazing to me is how this product made it through your product testing and focus groups. I am shocked and puzzled that anyone would like this flavor and recommend selling it to millions of people.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Yulz!